needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
