It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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