you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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