Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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