do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
