i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
