pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
