But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
