We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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