Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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