totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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