Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
oh god the rape fog is back!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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