Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
