i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
