One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
