he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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