He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
