I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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