the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
