A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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