is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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