Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
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There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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me + whiskey = a bad person
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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