"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
