We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
