I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
