Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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