i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
