sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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