Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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