I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
