but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
