Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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