I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
