its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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