I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize