I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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