You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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