I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
