I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
