haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
