part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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