A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
