When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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