Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
