You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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