smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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