My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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