There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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