That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
