I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
