it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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