DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
