Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
