Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
