Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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