Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
