My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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