I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize