yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
