my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He has the fingertips of a God
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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